wondering y am i so dumb clumsy stupid and useless. feel no no value in this world and life. im so f***ing a irritant to ppl.

nth much. at night gonna go airport, hopefully able to send pt off.. and count down char's bday~ (: nt gonna wish u nw! but 12am. and then hm sweet hm and tmr no plans. damn tmr i wish to count down for 2007 but den dunno how. hais damn boring. superb sian life. :(

he is all i ever want (:

my love (:

im feeling so stress up. so damn it. i hate essential, the ppl there suck big time pls. damn it. u think i wanna take any single cent of xtra money frm you all? U THINK I BOTHERED TO? i jus wanna take my own hard earn money, every single cents i deserve to get. yeahh so i got xtra and i wanna return to u IMMEDIATELY but wat the fuck is tt damn asshole chabor is doing? she told tt ANOTHER OLD BIATCH tt i didnt contact her at all WHEN IM FUCKING KEEP RUSHING HER FOR TT TIME FOR HER ACC. NO. SO I CAN RETURN THE MONEY. and wat the fuck nw!! u think i got the time to ask for it everyday? I ASKED FOR 3 DAYS ALR AND DIDNT GET ANY ANY ANY NO. , of cos i gave up AND WAIT FOR U ALL INSTEAD. wait wait wait and wait FOR WEEKS AND EVEN MTHS I DUN REM! till today then TT OLD BITACH CALLED ME AND SAY. SAY WAT? SAY I DIDNT RETURN MONEY TO THEM. YES I HAVEN BUT IS THEY DUN ALLOW ME TO? damn it. im fucking fuck up angry nw!! think wat. nvm FINE I DO NT WANNA HAVE ANY MISUNDERSTANDING AND EXPLAINED TO TT OLD BIATCH AND HOW THE FUCK CAN SHE BE SO SARCASTIC? damn it. DO I NEED UR CONSOLE? DO I NEED UR PRAISE? THE ANS IS NO!!! I DUN NEED. I JUS DUN WANNA MY REPUTATION SPOILT SO I EXPLAINED NOT BCOS I NEED YOU TO SAY U R CONSOLING ME BY SAYING IM HAO XIN, HONEST AND WAT SO EVER. damn it. DUN NEED ALL THESE SHITS FRM YOU. 2ND TIME I GOT SO BADLY HURT AND UPSET BY THIS FUCKING COMPANY. other than the gd pay, THE MANAGEMENT SUCKS LIKE SHIT!!!! AND WAT. SO WAT WITH THE GD PAY, I GET MY PAY AFTER MONTHS I WORKED? and so this is ALL I GET FRM U ALL? IS ALL THESE SHIT TT U ALL CAN ONLY GIVE? CANT U ALL TREAT ME BETTER? IM FUCKING PISSED NW. so wat the fuck are this old biatch and asshole chabor doing. AND WAT'S WRONG WITH THE PPL IN THIS COMPANY? ARE THEY ALRIGHT? I THINK OTHER THAN THE LADY BOSS, THE BOSS AND EVERY STAFFS WILL DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!

and my mood nw are super LOW! wat nw. haisss DAMN MYSELF. WHY AM I ALWAYS SO BLUR SO LOUSY SO IDIOT SO DUMB SO USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hais the ppt i done for the report, IS IN A TOTAL MESS AND TOTAL WRONGGGG!!!!!! damn my grade will be affected for sure..!!! ITS ALWAYS BCOS OF MY BLURNESSS!!! EVERY STEP I DONE IS WRONG. I REALLY LISTENED ATTENTIVELY TO EVERY STEP TO BE DONE!!! but i think im so dumb to think tt overall file to ONLY BE FOR QNS 1F. and damn bcos of this, my whole ppt is spoilt. and there goes my A. HAIS since young, haven screwed up every single thing JUST BCOS OF BEING SO DAMN BLUR.. i dunno y, my mind jus BEING SLOW, LOUSY AND DUMB. there's smth with my BRAIN. wats wrong. i think i really shd vanish since im so EXTRA i guess in this world. work done by me = not done, wat for having me in this world. -end emo freak, yeah tts me.

wednesday-
finished calling b4 lunch time. no internet. life after lunch time was suffering omg. the time pass like omg 1 hr = 10hrs..ARGHHH!!! im going to bored till death soon. arghhh no flexi can be taken on thurs n fri. damn it. how i wish at tt moment i can slp on my COMFORTABLE BEDDDD!! (:

thursday-
got to start on report. nth much abt report oso..purely copy and paste! (: hees easy job.. (: anyway spent my whole day reading "fatal seduction 2" hahaha nice book (: 1st time finished a 200+ pages book in 1 day.. haha nv read finish a book ever in my life..except those pri sch those 10pages with BIG WORDS on it. hees and so i guess this is the 1st book i finished? hahaha.. so reached hm continue with my sims again! hahaha started on wed, have not been playing since tep started..and nw finally im back to tt game. addictive! (: hahaha .

friday today!!-
internet finally got better! (: baby bring me ai xin breakfast he made himself at 9am morning break! sweetie (: hees..nth much..blog ltr! hahaha lunchtime!! (:

here's a list of my new yr resolution..
1. to slim down! (iwish iwish!)
2. to be pretty! (yeahh i noe dream on.butjus try my luck by wishing!)
3. to be richer! (wahhahaaha i wannabuylots and lots of things!)
4. to be happier! (idunno y im jus nt happy with myself)
5. to be with baby for as long as i imagine (:
6. to be a better person (:
7. to wish all the ones around me, my family, baby, fatass, bsu clique, csc mates, sweet orange, slackers and co. to BE ALWAYS HAPPY AND HEALTHY (:
8. lastly 2 - to get all the stuffs i aimed (hahaa conclusion is the same, to be richer =x)
- to be my best form (conclusion, to slim down and be prettier! hahahah!)

all i ever want is *you. i love you baby! (:

went to town. went wheellock and had sakae for xmas dinner! its the best xmas i ever had in my life! yeah so we ate so many things. full and delicious (: had gift exchange, and gave sinhuii my pressie~ hees im so proud to give her those pressie!! hahaha it is all DEEP FROM MY HEART!! sinhui i hope you like it (: yeahh. and well after dinner, shop around and then decided to stay put in TCC @ ceine. reached tcc at 11plus. ordered our coffee.. played da bian dai dee!! had lotsa fun. went off at abt 1.15am..and then bad things happened!!

went to wait for NR 1. and damn it. the NR1 we got in got into accident half way through the journey, @ the shaw house the road there. window glass break all over! argh f***. my 1st time experience. hurt my hand. super pain nw.. leg abit swollen.. but thank god no 1 injured seriously. no 1 is dead and thank god the driver is alright. liang, me, sinhui, xueli and char was so afraid till we forget to note down the bus no. or watever. and we jus take a cab hm instead. yeah so damn. went hm cried like shit cos i am so afraid. wake baby up and keep crying. finally he humour me to bed and got better nw. nt in a gd state to work today so i didnt work.. but work tmr.

saying abt work tmr. im f***ing dulan and sad. yeah was supposed to go expo and can work with those i like and oso baby. but damn say wat lAst min dun need ppl then wan me go tpy. damn. its so Far frm baby. i wanna celeb xmas with him and shit god damn him. and he told me there need 1 promoter for tmr instead of 2 alr. and now i heard tt felicia HIS SISTER is going there to work!!! AND I ASKED HIM AGAIN IF THERE'S ANOTHER ONE GOING TO WORK THERE. HE SAID NO. so if tmr turn out to be felicia there, ILL HATE HIM FOR LIFE. nw my mood is like shit. FUCKING SHIT. IM SO EMO. I WANNA CRY. I SO FUCKING DU LAN. SO SO SO FUCKING DU LAN. SO FUCKING FEEL LIKE DYING. SO FUCKING HATE MY LIFE. SO FUCKING HATE THE WORLD..IM SO FUCK UP NW!!! IM SO DEPRESSED. haiss. I JUS DUN WANNA WORK ALONE TMR. HOW CAN TT KEN BE SO BIAS. BE DAMN IDIOT. IM FUCK UP LA. i guess onli life with bsu mates can cheer me up alot. life other than tt sux. or even sometimes with baby. i feel veri fuck up. i dun enjoy my life at all. dun enjoy any moments at all except with bsu. haiss :(

the doc say dunno a new kind of flu i dunno wta name issit forget alr.. haha say will spread..ask me dun be too near a person, dun share anything, dun eat milk stuff, dun eat oily stuffs. haha yeahh great. i wanna get well soon. cos i wanna go out with bsu mates tmr! arghh so excited its jus tmrrr!!!

yday went to buy present. arghhh poor thing. shop till so tired. both mentally and physically. got to crack my brain and think alot. got to walk alot to shop for it. watched night at the musuem yday le! super love the show ! its a great one . ALL MY FRENS, GO WATCH!! (: hahhaa. SUPER FUNNY SHOW. oh ya. i bought a small small present for my best fren too. to cheer him up i hope. (:

ok nth much nw. wanna go do present for the one alr. hees (: i have no strength to type. veri weak nw. arghh weakling me.

yday not being a happy day at all. feel veri stress up and tired. bothered. but well as i said. today is a brand new day. and i hope things got better (: so yday nite was madness with charlene over vienna international buffet and what to wear and oso to make up on fri. im mad over vienna international buffet, and i changed my msn nick to "VIENNA, this is where i belong." credit goes to charlene for this nick. haha. damnn im broke yet i feel like going vienna international buffet to eat. is there smth wrong with me. fuckup mood.

so fri, have decided on a red tank top and a jeans. hees my panda dear dear is my khaki. she acc me wear jeans and a white tank top! (: hahaha ii love her..lols charlene is still finding her khaki, if nt ill welcome her in my khaki grp! (: im so so so excited and enthu abt fri (: but once think abt work on sat. im nt feeling great anymore. yet veri veri upset. argh.

ok fine. arghh. yeahh im feeling happy cos my fat ass isnt angry with me. i love her (:

i make a fool of myself today by sms thing to the wrong person. arghh damn stupid. anyway to my dearie best fren- rem 1 thing, ur bestie will nv oppose you or either help others but not you. but ur bestie wont support u or help u either to be fair. im just trying to advise you on top of watever happened, cos i dun wish to see you sad, dun wish to see you get into trouble, dun wish u to feel miserable. rem how u wanna cheer me up tt time when im so miserable..and u helped, by not interfering but giving me advise. and i got help by you by listening to it. and im really grateful. so in this, i dun care and i dun wanna noe who is in the wrong, but i only hope u can trust the one u love. no matter is her, or who, or even me, trust every1 u love. once there's trust,i bet u shd noe alot things will be easier. and also, stronger the bond between two. im sure u wanna that too, im sure u wanna be better and closer with every1 u love. tell you wat best fren, i love you. i trust you alot and tts y i told u things tt not everyone noe. and i believe u trust me too (: and with trust, isnt our friendship better and closer? right (: i wanna see you smile more like how u did b4, i wanna see you happy like how you always do. no matter what happened, i said all those things to you, the purpose is not to help anyone. but my main purpose is to SEE YOU HAPPY! get it? (: hope u get to c this entry (: i love you (:

unvbetherewhenialwaysneedyou.
allthebullshits.wheniwanancry.whereareyou?
slping. forgetit.itsover,iwannastopthis.

i couldnt take it le. im so stress. why mus they treat me likethis when im so polite. fuck tt mr low, mdm lee and etc. did any1 tell u all tt YOU SUCK BIG TIME. had enough of all the nonsense.

IWISHTODIERIGHTNOW.
NOMOREREASONSFORMETOLIVE.

there'll be no morning break today cos yday 1person is late. so well, meaning no breakfast! mus rennn but can also jian fei (: today got to start calling which im so dread to do so. seein the number of survey to be completed. im bored. sian tired. hais and sad!

so well. dunno wat time i feel like starting to call. seriously in a very very low mood status. tired upset disappointed.
sinceyouchosetobelikethis.
icanonlysay.yaimmoredisappointedthanyoudo.
imsobotheredtillimsonumbandtired.
andidunwannabebotheredanymore.
icriedydayforsillythingsthativebeenthroughsinceyoung.
well.itsallover.criedandtodayisabrandnewday
imsosotired.givemearest.
ineedholidays,justwithyoubaby.

today wont be meeting him. its raining and the more i feel lonely. lunch time dun even noe who will eat with me other than chengde. well. im always so lonely. born to be a loner? haha a joke in this world. i mean ya me, im a joke. yeahh. tmr going out with him, cant wait to cos i miss the feelin of shopping with him. and FRI FRI FRI FRI!!! cant wait to go out with my BSU TEAM MATESS!! (: early celeb of xmas, pean farewell(pean ill miss you! take care in france k!) and lastly, our dear charlene bday!! (: hees. and i noe ill be dead tired. workin on sat sun and mon most prob. im so tired. i dun get a rest at all. i dun enjoyworking. but for wat im making myself tired. cos i need to earn my own money and spend but not spending his anymore. well. ok tts all for nw. its a long entry. CALL CALL CALL! tired.

babybringmetobangkok.ifnotKLduringmyholsnxtyrcan.
cantwaittoholswithyou(:

chat with siong siong, siong siong mus jiayou! dun t hink of outcome but process! i give u all my strength!! (: chat with pean, she ah.. lols 1 cute ger.. mus re qing abit! rem smiley face is the tactic!! (: love ya all!!

gotta work nxt week bcos i really no money le..sorry fat ass! hais i guess i really make fat ass disappointed and upset and maybe even angry? im so sorry fat ass! pls forgive me! fatty pull ear and apologise! forgive me fat ass , hao ma? (:

yeahh. so bored. arghhhh. got the urge to eat sakae so much!!! arghh soo soo i wanan pursuade baby (: lols.. hees.. boreddd sat is so boredd! hope my tmr wont be bored. wanna go suntan, lols but im afraid tt i cant wake up again. hope not! (:

ohya i wanna talk abt yday! went to watch jun bros performance! haha cute cute cute! the 3 baobeis of mine! love them so muchhh!! then fufil my wish by eating kfc, esp cheese fries! hees! and then baby say he was tired..so we went hm (:

eh eh 1st. i want win toto!
2nd. i wish to have LOTSA OF TOPS, but i dunno how to describe them out 1 by 1.
3rd. i wish to have 1 more jeans although i jus bought one levis not long ago.
4th. i wish to have a nice nice de sneaeker.
5th. i wish to have 1 more havaiinas cos i just broke one which baby bought for me ):
6th. i wish to have a few more skirts, short but not VERI short my usual length and nice de!
7th. i wish to have a dress (: sexy, pretty, hot but i noe i dun have the figure.
8th. i wish to move house. lols to a bigger room, and of cos NICER room.
9th. i wish to have a queen or king size bed.
10th. i wish that baby can come my house more often to overnight, love slping in his hug (:
11th. i wish to have a new watch (:
12th. i wish to rebond my hair.
13th. i wish to dye my hair.
14th. i wish to do smth to my face, its ugly. oily. sux. arghh pui
15th. i wish to do smth to my height, to a little bit taller will do.
16th. i wish to do smth to my body, jus ALOT slimmer can le.
17th. i wish to rest as many days as i can. cos i really am so tired of the life nw.
18th. i wish to go sentosa with baby again, to suntan, to underwater, to dolphinlagoon, to luge, to 4D magix. i really wan to do so.
19th. i wish to NOT work and get PAY FROM SE. lols day dream.
20th. i wish to go out with my bsu mates. so many many.
21st. i wish to go out with slackers n co.
22nd. i wish to go out with af0502 classmates.
23rd. i wish to go out with sweet orange.
24th. i wish to go out with baby (:
25th. i wish to have holidays all the way till i die. i jus dun wish to study and work and get money.
26th. i wish to be prettier can?
27th. erm erm erm i wish to have more necklaces.
28th. oh ya earrings and ear studs too.!
29th. i wish to sleep right now.
30th. i wish to eat kfc cheese fries.
31th. i wish to eat long john fish chicken fries.
32th. i wish to mac, macspicy macwings macnuggets. WITH MAYO.
33th. i wish to eat bk cheese stick.
34th. i wish to eat mos burger fries, ebi rice burger, ice milk tea.
35th. i wish to eat pizzahut spicy wings, beef balls, pizza!
36th. i wish to eat carls jr. onion ring? lols! bbq chicken burger too!
37th. i wish to eat BEN AND JERRY ICE CREAM!!! I REALLY WAN TO! ARGH.
38th. i wish to eat hagan dazz fondue.
39th. i wish to go vienna international buffet AGAIN and eat!
40th. i wish to eat yoshinoya salmon and beef bowl!
41th. i wish to eat SAKAE SUSHI. OMG THIS IS MY FAV!
42th. i wish to erm erm erm get the top from dorothy perkins, the tube top but its too exp.
43th. i wish to get the red tank top from topshop. but no more stock.
44th. i wish to lengthen my eye lash. its far too short.
45th. i wish to do smth to my eyes. its too dead.
46th. i wish to do smth to my nose, its abit oily and big.
47th. i wish to HAVE MORE BAGS, SCH BAGS, HANDBAGS, MEDIUM SIZE BAGS!
48th. i wish to do a new spec like what xue xue wans too cos my specs is NOT STRAIGHT ANYMORE. 49th. when i think of more ill upate again!!! (:

onelastwishistogobacktobeforewhenwewerestillasclose <3

anyway charlene JIA YOU!! im sure this outcome will be a gd one (: jia you jia you jia you!!!! love all of you many many!! (: CSC IS SUPER SUPER BORING LAAAAAA!

idunnowhyiaskedabouthimagain.itsalloverandishouldreallyletgo.
butiwishtoseehim.seehimsmileandplaywithmelikehowweusedto-

nw ive got nth to do. slack. i dunno wat to do today! im so bored. bored like shit. LOL i wanna go on diet. but seems like in CSC can nv. eat le sit WHOLE DAY NV WALK AROUND TO EXERCISE AT ALL. went hm SLEEP! wake up at 8plus9pm.. then eat and SLP AGAIN AT 11plus. U THINK MY DIET PLAN WILL SUCCEED? can NEVER!! arghhhhh i wanna wanna wanna stop stop stop all all all the the the FATTENING FATTENING FATTENING OILY OILY OILY UNHEALTHY UNHEALTHY UNHEALTHY FRIED FRIED FRIED FOOD FOOD FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP ALLLLLLLL THESEEEEEEE! plssss!

(: i wish to have KFC CHEESE FRIES =x !!! hahahahah guess im havin puberty ! lols. cant stop eating. if nt, i think im pregnant. cos sytoms of pregnant is EAT ALOT de. hahaha (:

arghh. haha im such a weakling. worst than panda. lols i forgave him alr. damn yday he came my hse find me shit HIM HIM HIM. always like tt. always make me so sad n angry liao then say sorry!!! pui him till he WET WET. lols. ok enough of all these nonsense.

SORRY CHARLENE !! LOLS LET GERS DOWN MAN! AHAHAHA BUT NO WORRIES! I STILL VERI MUCH APPRECIATE YOUR CARE (: FOR LISTENING TO MY RANTING.! I LOVE YOU..!!! not forgetting my dearest PANDA! HAHAHAHA DUN BE SAD ALR.. UVE ALWAYS GOT ME!!!!! i love you MANY MANY MANY too!!!!! (:

be back after morning break! bye!

completed 7 surveys so far. been calling calling n calling. boring life. headache. ear pain. im so tired. veri tired. wanna slp nw. wanna slp nw. wanna slp nw. CANT slp HERE!! damn it. i really wish to lie on bed and fall aslp nw! arghh so tired. thinking of sat and sun got to work, ive got no motivation to work at all for this weekend. but for the sake of money, i have to work. 1 weekend nv work meaning i will lost the chance of earning $180 for 2 days. im so tired. i f**kin so tired of life. arghh!

whydunurealiseurf**kingmistakeandcontinuemakingmeupset.
whymusyoustillattitudeinsteadofhumouringme.

ok! after morning break i got to start calling alr!! boreedd..been having headache all day long in csc. calling n calling. facing the comp for the whole day. and its only the 4th day. i think im going maddddd~~~~~~~ yeahh guess frm today onwards, there will be several entries per day!! cos i am too bored!!! (: I MISS EVERYONE SO MUCH SO MUCH!!! AGRHH MY AF0502 PEEPS, MY BSU MATES, MY SWEET ORANGE, SLACKERS AND CO. PEEPS! i miss all of you so much so much! hahaha but i dun miss him, he's an A-S-S hole! damn him. ok gd bye every!! be back ltr!! MAYBE AFTER LUNCH BREAK? (:

not a single word with him yet. iwannaremainlikethis.

im so tired. cant hold out anymore. im always the happy small little ger in front of others, but who knows the real me? no one. give me reasons why i mus live on.

whyalwayswhenimsad,mymindisfullofyou.hopingyoucancheermeuplikehowyoudidbefore.

2yrs1mth le..not easy to come. but with him, everything is so easy (:

ok. nth much. jus wanna say im so tired tired tired of my life. arghh hate csc. yawns start calling le lor!

arghh. so anyway started calling at 5plus. called 2 and completed 2 surveys. im considered lucky! (: hees. but anyway its a good start for me, i hope this will carry on well!

so anyway. jus a small para abt my feel. yeahh saw my tagboard. suddenly feel so loved by many many. im so touched till i wanna cry out loud and i wanna shout out loud and tell them i LOVE ALL OF THEM! yeahh esp. my best fren! without him, my life will be so miserable nw! yeah of cos my dear panda, i seriously miss her! yeahh and so xueli sinhui pean charlene, i so miss the bsu life, i miss all of many many! i wanna kiss all of u right nw! i wanna hug and nv let go! yeahh and thanks cd for always bein there for me! and of cos baby! he's always my dearest boy (: nv fails to be by my side (:

i hope i dun. arghh. so anyway abort the idea of going to sun tan yday cos im too tired to wake up. yeahh and heng we didnt go cos of the zouk out on sat, sentosa beach cant be used. woke up at 2.30pm yday and saw baby using comp le.. hees he waited for me for so long. then actually intend to go vivo to c kappa shoe and converse shoe de cos baby wanna buy for me! (: hees but too late, time is tight cos got to meet baby's cousins for their gathering. went sembawang shopping centre to have dinner! nice food! full~!! after which went causeway point to movie! HAPPY FEET! haha nice nice!! (: hees! so cute~ (:

ltr at 6pm after tep, going vivo with baby! wanna c my shoe! and then maybe some whr tt got gelare and eat gelare to have a early celeb of our 25th monthsary! (: muackss!

yday went to watch nic's dance concert. a nice one indeed~ hees, well think so much abt the past. i dunno y i wish to go back to the days provided no knives hid in anywhere in between us~ but welll.its over..i noe can nv and well, im contented we still contact with each other at times.. im not trying to be gd but just wish tt every frenship could still continue and last purely (: but well, i noe nt all can do so~ anyway really sincerely congratz her for her dreams come true! congratz (: after tt, from dover back to yishun with weng, wenda, andy and baby, we met up edwin, mark, dicky, sauming. had late dinner, then followed them to lan shop and pLay game..but i went there to have a nap. went home with baby. watched vcd till 6am~ cried like shit. baby pLayed game till 6.20am..then we went to slp le..

today i woke up 1st at 12.30pm then followed by baby at 2pm. then went to bugis. had our lunch, lols ate pop corn chicken from bugis village, then crispy pancake, and zhi ma hu with peanut tang yuan!! then shop shop. spent spent. then went mos burger to eat dinner. then hm sweet hm. (:

istillcantsortout.abtmylife.itjustsuck.sucklikehell.damn.

imreallylonely.im really so alone. cananyone understands? no one i guess.

i jus wish to isolate myself. since im so all alone. i jus wanna continue like this.

csc life yeah sux. take it as im a crybaby or wat. ya i am a crybaby. so what. ya i broke down today. i cried so hard. cried so badly. i just couldnt take it. im so stress out so tired of all the shits. i dun wan . i always tot god loves me. god has reasons to give me this life, i believe to be good. but i guess i no longer believe. cos i dun feel good at all. not at all. i feel so miserable. very.

went home at 4plus, damn. wanted to change my contacts but then shop closed. sad. tmr i HAVE TO wear contacts cos therell be a gathering for essential. but then! arghhh. i dun have contacts nw..and im really at lost of what to do abt it. argh. anyway for the sake of my pay, then i will go there for gathering. if nt seriously i tihnk its a waste of my time cos i dun like to.

yeah and so, this morning. someone died at yishun mrt station. delayed alot ppl's time. many ppl was late today~ haha..well nvm i enjoyed being late. but hais when i go to csc i guess i wont have the chance alr.. damn sad. well.. so i dunno y tt some1 died too..dunno issit accident or commit sucide..but jus think he's dumb. he's stupid. he's really silly. why choose this way to die. die in such a horrible way. and poor thing for tt driver. he mus be having nightmares starting from tonight alr..hais poor him. everyone, just wanna tell u all, treasure ur life. no matter how bad things happen, there may not be alot. but im sure there WILL be one who loves u truely, and be there for u. i always think of dying but when i noe there's still ppl who loves me dearly, i gave up the mindset. cos i dun wish to waste my life when i noe i still got lov-ED by at least one (: bad things may happened to me, but i guess i realli got to let go, really got to give up. i noe i shdn't think of it anymore. and ill do tt i guess. cos its all my wishful part all along. its me who dun let go all along when he's alr forgotten abt me. he's falling in love alr. and i guess he found his love one alr? and i guess im no longer in his heart, not even 1% i guess. no matter how much im angry, how much i hate for wat he did, he still stands some place in my heart. im sorry baby but i always thought time will heals everything. i always tot after my block leave ill feel better. but i guess till nw, istill couldn't forget.. i jus cant let go of the pain. can some1 save me out of all these shit. i jus wanna be a happy person like b4, i jus wanna pretend as nth happened b4 like how he's doin now. but i dunno y i cant.. i noe im bad to baby, i noe baby is the only one who can nv be replaced, he's a wonderful baby ever, but take it as im a shit person ba. im really sorry. but i hope u noe i really do love u and have nv take our love as a joke..