think i said smth hurting to mum yday..sorry mummy.. =(

ok today..wake up early..still haven recover..feeling weak and look pale..drag myself to sch to have tt stupid biz law ica..fuckin hell..think i flunk it again..gd luck to me again! then after tt went to buy porridge to eat.. it's like the porridge is less than half of a normal container and i onli ate abit more than half of the porridge given..lols..and lasttt for the whole dayy! until home i ate 5% out of 100% of beehoon..jus drank milo and ate medicine slping soon! ok after lesson today..quarreled with tt jerk lols..i mean my baobeii and angry with him for damn long..oh ya..sorry my dear gers gang! i am toooo angry tts y fa pi qi and walk away!!! =) so i went to find my dearie aileen ong to complain for abt an hr..and i went away cos wanna avoid him but let him found me..so i ignore him all the way frm yck to my hse..and i finally open my mouth and ask him to go up..lols..then we r ok le..NT FUNNY RIGHT? haha i oso think so..siann..my life didnt get any better yet..hais how i wish my life could change to a better one..i wanna find the old me back..i wanna be happy!! i hope i can..haisss

well..seriously..i realli dunno wat got into me..suddenly..i jus feel sooo tired of my life..i jus hate myself..i hate to live..i dun wish to exist..i dunno y..i feel like a burden to every 1 i know..i feel tt every1 in the world hates me..i know i shd not think like this..but i think i realli on the verge to the stage of depression le..i cant take it..cant takee the feelings i am feeling now..am i dumb? am i idiot? i am loved by ppl but y doesnt i have tt feeling? i realli getting to hate myself to the max already..on the verge to go mad. i feel so disguisted by myself..feel so fat! feel so ugly! feel so stupid! feel so idiotic! feel so lousy! i jus feel all the fucking negative things..*envy others.. i wish to dance like others do..i love to..but too bad..blame it on my lousiness..i wish to doll up like others do..too bad..blame it on my ugly face and fat body..no matter how much dolling i am still ugly and disguisting..

well nth to say le..all my emo entries these few days...oh ya..coming tues is my 19th monthsary with baobeii le..cant believe we can reach tt long when both of us actually quarreled for dunno how many billions times..i lovee him =) wonder whr can we celebrate our 19th monthsary =)