i dunno if i am ok or nt..i always tot i am ok already..always to i become better..but i am nt..after i knew the result..the disappointment is theree..the depressed feelings..i cant take it anymore..i dun wan my frens to worry..i dun wan them to c me cry..but i still cried out of control..now i stopped crying..but i couldn't take the feelings i am feeling now..i knew it will be like this but i still dunno why i still feel so depressed abt it..my frens got in, they r gd..i felt sooo dumb n lousy..i felt soo useless!!

jus received a call frm bee..he asked me nt to cry cos i promise him..i am sorry cos i didnt do wat i promise..but pls understand tt i realli could nt take this~ i am always so cheerful but regarding this kind of things, i take it veri seriously..cos i put in my veri effort to achieve the results i wan..but still..i ruined it myself..i hate myself..hais..when will i be able to forget abt this matter..pls god help me... d e p r e s s i o n :((